Friday, August 27, 2010

F-Stop Blues.

They say a picture paints a thousand words, but in Archbishop Williams’ case the sweet little snap taken as a memento of his recent Ugandan junket is more like an entire novel. Albeit one by Harold Robbins lying in the bargain-basket of a very seedy second-hand book-store.

After all, he is the great grand pooh-bah of all things Anglican, and as such I can well understand him feeling an obligation to visit all his flock – including those members of the Communion who are the equivalent of that uncle in your own family who served time for indecently exposure, and who can never get it into his head that nobody is listening admiringly when he boasts about having been inducted into the Klan. Still, just as a little discretion goes a long way when purchasing the latest copy of Hustler, having one’s picture taken with someone who’s famous for insulting the good folk who pay a great many of one’s bills is just plain foolish.

Nor can it be argued that His Cantaurness was unaware little Bobby Duncan was sitting just five warm prelate posteriors away; another keepsake doing the rounds shows the pair making the kind of eye-contact usually accompanied by fireworks and Tijuana horns on Love American Style. Which is all well and good from little Bobby’s perspective; as a Conservative Schismatic it’s his job to fly around the world attending talk-fests. A man in his position can’t be expected to work at cleaning up his own back yard – not when it’s so much easier to fly business class and complain about others laboring in their own corner of God’s great garden, and being photographed that close to the Man With The Beard is the pseudo-Anglican kudos-seekers’ equivalent to passive-smoking: the smell isn’t the only thing that’s going to drift in your direction.

Yet a whirlwind blows smoke more ways than just one, and from where most Episcopalians sit it certainly looks like Bobby Duncan wasn’t the only one inhaling. Just as it took me some serious talking to calm everyone down after I was caught by the paparazzi with three jelly-wrestlers and the owner of Europe’s most prestigious flea circus, ++Rowan’s going to have to work awfully hard if he wants the people who bailed out his credit card after Lambeth to forget about this one. And so far the “sheepish silence” routine doesn’t look like getting an ovation from anyone not currently meeting in a rented Seventh Day Adventist hall and trying to pay off the costs incurred in a failed property dispute…

I’m Father Christian and I teach the Bible.

11 comments :

Anonymous said...

Isn't it sad that the Africans have lost their way.

If only they realised they were being exploited and it is Africans who are being reevangelised.

Anonymous said...

"a rented 7th-Day Adventist hall"?
Shudder-how vulgar can one get?
Clearly the down-market are marked off forever by their infra-dig churches as well as their unprogressive politics.
No wonder liberal Anglo-Catholics are able to celebrate their diversity so well.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Now, now, little Brad - just because you're trying to be a little more erudite doesn't mean we can't all spot you a mile away.

Anonymous said...

But you do enjoy celebrating your diversity-with a membership about as "diverse" as cream cheese.
Seriously, compare the "teabaggers" and 95% of Episcopalians. Both blindingly white.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

I'm growing concerned, Brad my son, that your rapidly developing obsession with race and color might prove even more alarming than the fascination with vestments and sexuality which it appears to be replacing.

Anonymous said...

And, once again, you can't say that anything I say is actually wrong....
Pitiful.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Saying you're wrong might encourage your delusion that I (or anyone else here) takes you seriously.

Anonymous said...

Which of course means that you never have to refer to anyone or anything outside of a group numbering 2.8% of us under the age of twenty-six. Paternalism masquerading as progressive and prophetic ministry.
Lady Bountiful as Senior Warden.

Anonymous said...

I'm not obsessed with sexuality; I'm laughing at your ridiculous and pathetic attempts to prove that your "ministry" and "priesthood" have anything meaningful to contribute to anyone outside the middle-class, middle-aged and middle-brow.
Like Rowan Whatshisface pretending that his clergy can be in civil partnerships but saying they're expected to be celibate-and keeping a "straight" face while doing so. Either he's crazy or lying-or his "flock" is either crazy or lying while listening to him and not telling him where to get off.

The Rev. Dr. Christian Troll said...

Of course you're not obsessed, little Brad my son. And just because you devote hours every day to posting dozens of mostly anonymous comments referencing sexuality at the few religious blogs from which you aren't blocked is hardly reason to suggest otherwise.

Besides, it was pure coincidence that your comment above descended into a rant about other people's sexual inclinations...

Anonymous said...

Well, at least I left your leather maniples out of it.
But seriously, you've basically become NPR at prayer or Lands End with incense.